Sunday, 17 April 2011

Do not criticize, condemn, or complain. (Principle #1)





Do not criticize, condemn, or complain.  (Principle #1)
-Dale Carnegie
http://teiadogestor.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/dale_carnegie.jpg



It is quite natural that at times some people around us may do certain things that upset us very much. Our intellect may perfectly justify that their actions are wrong, inefficient, or simply foolish. The natural response from our side is then be to criticize, condemn or complain about the other person’s actions. Criticizing gives us an opportunity to blow some steam. It temporarily makes us feel really good. However more often than not, it does not serve one bit in making the situation and the relationship any better. Why is that so?

This is because whatever a person does, his ego automatically justifies it. Most criminals, including the ones who are perfectly sane mentally, hardly experience any guilt and remorse, however serious their crimes. Their ego and intellect perfectly justifies all their actions. This type of defense mechanism is built into each one of us - we are all setup to defend our actions fully, as our egos never wants to make us wrong. People simply do not like to hear that they did anything wrong intentionally.

It follows then that when we criticize, condemn or complain about the actions of others, what most likely happens is that we will trigger the other person’s defense mechanism. Criticism wounds a persons pride, hurts his sense of importance, and thus arouses anger and resentment. It can demoralize family members, friends, and employees, while not helping one bit in correcting the situation at hand. More often than not, the person we criticize simply finds a way to justify his actions and in turn give some criticism back to us. In some cases the consequences of our criticism can be very serious, and come back haunting at us.

Animals that are regarded for good behaviour learn much more rapidly and retain what they learn more effectively than an animal punished for bad behaviour. The same works with humans as well - It is far more easier to correct some one's actions by speaking positively of the things that they do right, rather than what they do wrong.  Positive reinforcement works miracles with everyone - children and adults alike. A wise man thus knows to skillfully handle the egos of people around him.  He is able to present facts in a way that does not offend others. He puts more effort in understanding the reasons behind other people’s actions - as he fully realizes how futile it is to criticize, condemn, and complain.

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Lets Pray for Japan ...



http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2011/Mar/Week2/15950595.jpg


 असतो मा सद्गमय
तमसो मा ज्योतिर्गमय
मृत्योर् मा अमृतं गमय
ॐ शांति शांति शांति

“From the unreal, lead us to the Real; from darkness, lead us unto Light; from death, lead us to Immortality. Om peace, peace, peace.”




Lord, protect our planet, because we live here, and here we dwell with our daily tragedies.
May our daily reconstruction be the result of the very best that we carry within us.
Give us the courage
to be able to reconstruct what was destroyed
to be able to recover what was lost
to be able to accept what was gone forever.
May you give us courage to look ahead,
may we never look back nor allow our soul to be discouraged. 

Lord, give us enthusiasm, because Enthusiasm reaffirms to us that everything is possible, as long as we are totally committed to what we are doing. 

Lord, may the Earth continue to transform seeds into wheat, may we continue to transmute wheat into bread. Do not leave us in solitude. 

Have compassion on us, Lord. For we often think we are dressed when we are naked.
Do not forget, in your mercy, our friends in Japan, who are now teaching us the meaning of Courage, Reconstruction, Solidarity and Enthusiasm.
Amen


Lets all pray for the people in JAPAN ... 
You  can make a donation here: http://rdcrss.org/


Sunday, 6 March 2011

True Grit ... A story of a teen girl ....intelligence, independence and strength of mind.

File:True Grit Poster.jpg
The Billboard of the Movie based on the Novel


The film is narrated by the adult Mattie Ross (Elizabeth Marvel), who explains that her father was murdered by one of his hired hands, Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin), when she was 14; Chaney made off with her father's horses and two of his California gold pieces. While collecting her father's body, Mattie (played as a 14-year-old by Hailee Steinfeld) inquires about hiring a Deputy U.S. Marshal to track down Chaney. She is given three recommendations, but chooses to hire Rooster Cogburn (Jeff Bridges), because he is described as the most merciless. He repeatedly rebuffs her attempts to hire him.
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Mattie - A 14 year old brave girl who displays the characteristics of a WOMEN

                              Intelligence, independence, determination and strength of mind

Meanwhile, at the boarding house where she is staying, Texas Ranger LaBoeuf (Matt Damon) arrives on the trail of Chaney. LaBoeuf has been pursuing him for several months over a murder in Texas. He proposes to Mattie that they should team up with Cogburn, since the Marshal knows the Choctaw terrain where Chaney is hiding, while LaBoeuf knows how the man is most likely to behave. Mattie rejects LaBoeuf's offer, partially because he would take Chaney back to Texas to be hanged for the prior murder, instead of her father's. After finally securing Cogburn's services, Mattie is instructed to meet him the following morning to begin the search for Chaney, though instead of meeting Mattie, Cogburn leaves a note telling her to go home while he goes to apprehend Chaney.

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Chaney- murderer of her father

After she is refused passage on the river ferry that conveyed Cogburn and LaBoeuf, Mattie rides into the water and is pulled across by Little Blackie, her swimming horse. On the far side, she learns that the two men have agreed to split the Texas reward for Chaney. Accusing him of fraud, Mattie threatens to have Cogburn arrested for breaking their agreement, which specified that she must accompany him on the manhunt. Reluctantly, he allows Mattie to come along. After a disagreement, LaBoeuf sets off on his own in search of Chaney. Eventually, Mattie and Cogburn come across an isolated shack, where two outlaws (Paul Rae and Domhnall Gleeson) are staying. After they turn on each other, Cogburn kills the older outlaw, and as the younger one is dying, he explains that "Lucky" Ned Pepper (Barry Pepper) and his gang were planning on returning to the shack later that night. Believing Chaney to be riding with Pepper's gang, Cogburn and Mattie lie in wait for the gang.

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Mattie with her Horse "Little Blackie" and US Marshal Cogburn


However, LaBoeuf rides up to the shack ahead of the gang. When the gang arrives, they lasso LaBoeuf and drag him behind a horse. Cogburn opens fire from his hiding spot, killing three members of the gang and accidentally wounding LaBoeuf. During the night, Cogburn drinks a great deal of whiskey and is severely drunk the next morning. The following night, he and LaBoeuf argue again, and LaBoeuf departs once more. The next morning, as Mattie draws water at the river, she encounters Chaney, who is watering the gang's horses. She draws her father's pistol and shoots him. The pistol misfires as she tries to finish him off, and he drags her back to the gang. Ned uses Mattie as a hostage to force Cogburn to ride off. Though Mattie is initially hostile to Ned, she calms down when he promises he "doesn't hurt children" and he seems to show respect for her. Not having enough horses for everyone, Ned leaves Mattie with Chaney, telling him that he will send a horse for him later. He orders Chaney not to harm Mattie and to drop her off in safe, colonized lands afterwards.
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Cogburn with his famous pistol, known for his sharp shooting


Once alone, Chaney disobeys Ned and attacks Mattie; LaBoeuf appears and knocks Chaney out with his rifle butt, explaining that when he heard the shots in the morning, he rode back and encountered Cogburn, who devised a plan. LaBoeuf and Mattie watch from their distant perch as Cogburn takes on the four remaining members of Ned's gang. Although one escapes, Cogburn kills two of them, and mortally wounds Ned before his own horse is shot out from under him. As the dying Ned is about to kill Cogburn, LaBoeuf shoots and kills Ned, impressing Mattie with his ability as a marksman. Chaney comes to and attacks LaBoeuf. Mattie grabs LaBoeuf's rifle and kills Chaney, but the recoil knocks her back into an old mineshaft, where she unwittingly disturbs a ball of snakes. She is bitten before Cogburn can rescue her. Cogburn and Mattie leave the wounded but stable LaBoeuf at the mine with the promise they will send help. Cogburn rides through the night to get Mattie to a doctor before the venom spreads to other parts of her body. In the process, he kills Little Blackie out of mercy before it begins to suffer from exhaustion, and finishes the trail carrying the girl in his arms, arriving to a safe place just in time.

Twenty-five years later, Mattie – now 40 and with only one arm, the result of an amputation necessitated by gangrene from the snakebite – receives an invitation from Cogburn to meet him at a traveling Wild West show with which he is performing. When she arrives at the site, she learns that Cogburn died three days earlier. She has his body moved into her family plot, and the film ends with her standing over his grave and pondering how time catches up with everyone......


True Grit
Worth watching ....

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

Will you say SORRY ???


It's just a single word - 'sorry'. And it's so hard to extract from an unwilling giver.

It surprises me then, how I'm so easy with saying my sorry, heartfelt sorry, sorry to set things right, sorry to people I love, sorry for things I didn't do.
Yes, you read that right - I do that too - say sorry at times for saying stuff and doing things I don't consider wrong. And I'm okay with it.

Sometimes, it's just the price you pay for peace with a person who can't see that you're not wrong. And if I have to choose between my ego and a loved one, I choose the latter. Because it's only the ego that holds you back, doesn't it, from bending when someone else isn't? Between me and my heart, or me and my God, I know what's right, I know I'm not wrong. So what if someone else doesn't understand or doesn't agree?

Someone would say I've compromised on what I believe in, said sorry when I don't feel it. But I don't see it like that. If it makes someone happy, sorts things out, I can do that. If that's the only way of convincing someone of my good intentions, I can do it. As long as that person is important enough for me to go that extra mile. Because you don't want to be estranged from someone who's important to you because they can't get your point. What do you get by being right and being unhappy?

But I'm not sure everyone thinks like that. Would you say sorry for something you aren't guilty of, if the person is important enough?

Let me know what do you think ..... 

Monday, 31 January 2011

It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles...

It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
-Buddha 


Every battle we fight is really a battle with ourselves. A battle happens when external situations stretch us beyond the skills we currently have developed. Everything in the material world - be it money, people, fame, power, or health can be taken away from us in due course of time. The one thing that can never be taken away by any power of the universe is the inner growth within you - it stays with you for eternity. Nothing can touch someone who has conquered himself - it is thus a true victory.

And how does one do this?
The path to conquer oneself is the path of spiritual/self-growth, which is extinguishing the ego, having our mind in our control rather than be a slave of the mind, and experientially establishing ourselves in the truth.


http://www.bvml.org/SBBTM/grfx/buddha.jpg

Monday, 17 January 2011

Ophiuchus - The 13th Sign of the Zodiac

The 13th sign of the zodiac, unlike the other 12 signs is actually associated with a real person. In the 27th Century BCE in Ancient Egypt lived a man known as Imhotep. Imhotep was known as ‘Aesclepius’ by the Ancient Greeks, however the attributes are the same under either name.
Sepent holder
One of Imhoteps abilities was healing and it is said that it was he who introduced it to mankind. His accomplishments also included a wide knowledge of medicine. The serpent or snake symbol which is still used today to symbolize the medical profession was also used to represent Imhotep. Below is a list of attributes associated with the Serpent Holder, Imhotep i.e Aesclepius. The descriptions below are associated with the 13th sign - Ophiuchus.
Imhotep
  • Many people are envious of this subject as he progresses well throughout life.
  • A seeker of wisdom and knowledge
  • Many people are jealous of this person
  • Tends to go for the more flamboyant in dress sense, favouring bright colours.
  • Authority looks upon him well.
  • Would make a great architect or builder.
  • Number 12 is this persons lucky number.
  • This person will have a big family but leave home at an early age.
This is the Zodiac as some astrologers believe it should be:
ARIES = APRIL 19 - MAY 13
TAURUS = MAY 14 - JUNE 19
GEMINI = JUNE 20 - JULY 20
CANCER = JULY 21 - AUG 9
LEO = AUGUST 10 - SEPTEMBER 15
VIRGO = SEPTEMBER 16 - OCTOBER 30
LIBRA = OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 22
SCORPIO = NOVEMBER 23 - NOVEMBER 29
OPHIUCHUS = NOVEMBER 30 - DECEMBER 17
SAGITTARIUS = DECEMBER 18 - JANUARY 18
CAPRICORN = JANUARY 19 - FEBRUARY 15
AQUARIUS = FEBRUARY 16 - MARCH 11
PISCES = MARCH 12 - APRIL 18

I’m not sure myself about the qualities of that of Ophiucus, but perhaps if you mix Scorpio with Sagittarius you may come up with something along the right lines

Saturday, 15 January 2011

Terrorised by Whom: politicians or Terrorists ???

http://worldasisee.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/blog1.jpg



November 2009 : On Mumbai Blast for Hindustan Times reader's column......   

Another attack on India, many killed and wounded but no one bothers to take this up with the ones who are responsible for this massacre. Mumbaikers are currently busy talking to their friends and relatives sharing their own or some one elses experience on the incident. They are again trading in stock market which opened today to make money (try to get advantage of situation in bearish market) in spite of 200 dead bodies just lying within 5km from the stock market. They will again praise the economic PM of India for his fighting spirit, will again elect him because he brings in money to them though he failed miserably on terror front and will forget this incident till the next attack. Again our film industry WILL MAKE ONE MOVIE AND ONE ENCOURAGING SONG ON SALAM MUMBAI  and how good we Indians are in tolerating the injustice and how good we are in ignoring the facts and how easily we give up on each other.



http://badattitudes.com/MT/propaganda-2.jpg


For Us Patriotism means NO QUESTIONS and that’s what we are good at!!
We will be attacked again but see it on TV helplessly for hours on how bad is the situation and next day again will go back to work as if nothing happened ever.
Our politicians take this as another opportunity to screw the ruling Govt. and get the advantage to the maximum... It’s just so sad to hear  and watch how irresponsible we all are, and how easily we give up.
This is a message to all, it is time to wake up and tell everyone that we won’t accept this anymore, we won’t go down without a fight. And push our rusted system to ensure that public safety becomes their first priority and nothing else.

There isn't any sunset that I never think of you ...




There isn't any sunset that I never think of you
When there is nothing more to say
Everything was done,
break up, And lessons learned
Tears flow from my eyes,
Lives change when people go far away
Everyone tries to explain
But no realizes the depth of the pain.
Never thought that you could ignore me
and leave me all alone
tell me where that love has gone?
All I wanna say is that I am there for you
There isn't any sunset that I never think of you.....

An Excerpt from The 100/0 Principle



What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others? It's The 100/0 Principle: You take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the 0) in return.
Implementing The 100/0 Principle is not natural for most of us. It takes real commitment to the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline to think, act and give 100 percent.
The 100/0 Principle applies to those people in your life where the relationships are too important to react automatically or judgmentally. Each of us must determine the relationships to which this principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to work associates, customers, suppliers, family and friends.
  • STEP 1 - Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.
  • STEP 2 - Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada.
  • STEP 3 - Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don't take the bait.
  • STEP 4 - Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don't respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.
At times (usually few), the relationship can remain challenging, even toxic, despite your 100 percent commitment and self-discipline. When this occurs, you need to avoid being the "Knower" and shift to being the "Learner." Avoid Knower statements/ thoughts like "that won't work," "I'm right, you are wrong," "I know it and you don't," "I'll teach you," "that's just the way it is," "I need to tell you what I know," etc.
Instead use Learner statements/thoughts like "Let me find out what is going on and try to understand the situation," "I could be wrong," "I wonder if there is anything of value here," "I wonder if..." etc. In other words, as a Learner, be curious!
Principle Paradox
This may strike you as strange, but here's the paradox: When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations and their families.

Hope you all would like it,
Kind Regards
-Jay

Friday, 4 June 2010

It started out as a feeling

Which then grew into hope

Which then turned into a quiet thought
                                                                                                
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder

Till it was a battle cry

I'll come back when you call me

No need to say goodbye






Just because everything's changing

Doesn't mean it's never been this way before

All you can do is try to know who your friends are

As you head off to war

Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light

You'll come back when it's over

No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when it's over

No need to say goodbye



Now we're back to the beginning

It's just a feeling and no one knows yet

But just because they can't feel it, too

Doesn't means that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger

Till they're before your eyes

You'll come back when they call you

No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when they call you

No need to say goodbye .....