To better understand yourself and others, develop more Empathy .. By sudhir Krishnan

Empathy is getting into another person’s being and to be able to live the other person’s life for a few moments, so we understand their perspective better. Empathy is not sympathy. Sympathy is feeling for the other, while wearing our own shoes - I.e in sympathy one does not get into another person’s shoes. The ability to walk in other people’s shoes and feel what they feel is empathy.

Each individual is unique. Each of us come with different past experiences, conditioning and beliefs, and thus it is highly unlikely that two people agree on all points with the other. Take any post on this page and go through all the comments - you will see proof of this happening every single day. A person lacking empathy is more likely to judge and criticize others, as any other perspective that disagrees with his views simply appear wrong to him. Such a person is able to see only through the lens he is used to seeing, and not through the lens that others are wearing.

Empathy for others can be developed by asking ourselves questions such as the following and genuine feeling the answers:

• How would it feel to be sick and depressed all the time?
• How would it feel to be unemployed youth with lot of responsibility on your shoulder?
• How would it feel to be a 5 year old?
• How would it feel to be a child with learning disabilities?
• How would it feel to be a illegal alien struggling in the US?
• How would it feel to be in your 70s and no children to take care of you?

In addition to understanding others, empathy can also be used to develop more self-awareness. All of us play various roles - that of parent, spouse, child, employee etc. To know more about ourselves, we can look at ourselves objectively form the perspective of our counterparts in the roles we play. To develop more self-awareness, we can ask ourselves question like the following,  and answer them as objectively as possible:

• How would I feel to have a mother/father like me if I were my child?
• How would I feel to have a spouse like me if I were my spouse?
• How would I feel to have a son like me if I were my own son?
• How would I feel to have a friend like me if I were my own friend?
• How would I feel to have a manager like me if I were my employee?
• How would I feel to have a facebook page author like me if I were my page fan?

Empathy is a great quality to develop within us. A person with empathy is able to communicate better as he is not limited to his own views. Empathy helps a person to be more self-aware, more sensitive to the needs of others, more accepting of opposing points of view, and consequently makes for a more harmonious relationship with self and others. Developing empathy is developing comapassion for others - it is living with more wisdom.