Lines by Sudhir Krishnan:
We are all eternally interested in what we want. All our actions springs out of our wants. However other people are also the same - they are also thinking of only what they want, and not what we want. How then, can we get people around us to do what we want? The only way that works is to think of our wants in terms of what others want. When we give others what they want, we get from them what we want. This is a simple application of law of attraction - you get back what you give.
Watch any commercial on television. Do they every talk about the millions of dollars of profits that the company wants to make? Do they talk about the multimillion dollar house that the CEO would buy, the high life that she would live, if only you buy her product? No - the commercial focuses on you - the customer. Within just a few seconds, they attempt to convey how the product they have will improve your life.
When you go fishing, you attach worms to the end of the line so you may catch the fish. Perhaps in your mind, an ice-cream would be much more tasty than worms. However giving away your ice-cream is not going to help you catch any fish. You have to give the fish what they want, so you get what you want - which is the fish.
Parents of young children know this. When children do not eat their food, you can try scolding, coaxing and pleading, but it does not work well. However if the parent is able to link the food to what the child wants, the child will happily eat it. For example - if they are into Superman - it helps to say “If you eat these veggies, you will become strong like superman”. That is tying what your want with what your child wants.
Good sales people live this principle every day. They do not talk about what they want - which is lots of sales commissions. They do not pressurize you into selling the product. No one is interested in buying anything, but each one of us is interested in solving our problems. All the salesperson has to do is to link what they are selling to how it solves our problems, and we would gladly buy. Many times, all we are looking for is people who genuinely understand our problems, and that itself is a big selling factor.
When people are interviewing for a job, this principle works wonders. We all write in our resume “Objective: To get a challenging position working as a senior engineer in a multinational company”. The fact is, the company is not interested in what your want, as much as what they want in the candidate. The more you understand about the company, the role, and show them how you are ideal for the position, the more likely you are in getting the position.
Marriages that seem to have lost it’s charm can be benefited by this. In most marriages that are not doing great, there is something that each partner wants that the other is unwilling or unable to give. It could be love (emotional and physical), respect, appreciation, respect, personal growth etc. Finding what the other wants and giving them goes a long way in improving the relationship. Also the example of the fish and worms are apt here. Many times people do express love, but not in a manner that the other partner appreciates. Just because we value something, does not mean that it is what our partner wants as well. For example - we may show love through the great food we cook, whereas our partner would rather have more emotional/physical intimacy, which we have not been giving enough of.
Whenever we are in any situation where we are not getting what we want, it helps to ask ourselves - What is it that the other person wants, and how can I tie what they wants to what we want? And finally, here are some common things people want:
- Love
- Security
- Affection
- Status
- Knowledge
- Purpose
- Personal growth
- Spiritual growth
- Respect
- Appreciation
- Recognition
- Power
- Fame
- Joy
- Peace of Mind
- Sex
- Money
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