Sunday, 22 May 2011

A must read ..... !!


An Indian man walks into the New York City bank and asks for the loan officer.

He tells the Loan Officer that he was going to India for some business for 2 weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The Loan Officer tells him that the bank will need
Some form of security for the loan.

So the Indian man hands over the keys and the documents of the new Ferrari car parked on the street in front of the bank.

The loan officer consults the president of the bank,
Produces all the required items and everything check out to be OK.

The loan officer agrees to accept the car as a security for the loan.

The bank president and the Loan Officer had a good laugh at the Indian
For keeping a $750,000 Ferrari as a security and taking only $5,000 has a loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari
Into the banks underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later the Indian returns and pays $5000 and the interest which comes to it $15.41.

Seeing this, loan officer says,

“Sir, we are very happy to have your business
And this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you are away, we checked you out and
Found out that you were a multi millionaire.

What puzzled us was why would you bother to borrow $5000?”

The Indian replies :
"Where else in the New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks and
For only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return".



This is a true incident and the Indian is none other than : Dr Vijay Mallaya



https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYi2RrsYDlTs_rkYM0laWpdKOY4lW9SWICSS5mP_Ml3MLVHn55I0NowaWHgLGAQ6PhyXMeKT_ktnGMDQ_inN81hs8vJHmbieV0dYwOW_JGYkomd3USSPcNz8VA6wDMl5feKPxjsBG8toY/s400/Royal+Challengers+Bangalore%27s+Owner+Vijay+Mallya+Photo.jpg
Dr Vijay Mallaya

Monday, 16 May 2011

Is honesty a Sin ????

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In english dictionary the word "Honesty" means:


1. the quality or fact of being honest;  uprightness and fairness.
2.truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness.
3.freedom from deceit or fraud.


I am sure like me, many of us might have heard this saying or might have said it ourselves to others "Be honest with me or I am honest with you" etc.
However, did we ever ask this question that how much honesty one can handle?
How much trust one invests to know that whatever is said/told is true?
How many people in this world are  truely honest to SELF and to other's?
Why people are afraid of being honest ?


The answer to these questions are sometimes difficult to find or easier than thought.

Have you ever noticed that when your with a complete stranger that you have met may be on your way on a flight or on a train or may be on net, you tend to share more or become more honest with that person without any fear of repercussions etc because in your mind may be you know that the person will least impact on your life etc and you risk it.At the same time you share your weaknesses also without any fear of acceptance or not.

Another example of the same is when your with your psychologist discussing something very personal with a confidence that he/she will/might help you find your way/answers and you become very honest about your lives etc.

The problem is, it requires a great deal of trust to willfully expose your weakness to others .
Now where does weakness came into the picture.Well, everyone has weaknesses and to accept those honestly is not only a brave thing but also shows the character.
To pretend that I am without weakness builds a wall around me. Yes, it may protect me from being hurt, but it also keeps out any potential friends. You can't pick and choose, really, what the outcome will be when you build that wall. The funny thing about it is that no one will really believe you anyway, if you pretend to be without weakness. News flash: we ALL have weakness!

Part of honesty is allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It means giving an answer because that's how you feel, instead of answering how you think the person asking the question might want you to answer. Honesty means that you'll be wrong sometimes. Honesty means that you are willing to accept the consequences of your actions. Honesty means failing. Perhaps the most difficult: honesty means coming to terms with yourself as you are, not as you wish you were, or as you wish others would see you. You can't make any improvements in your life if you don't know where your starting point is.




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Trust is on the people when you fall, will be there to catch you..



Conclusion is that Trust/confidence,Vulnerable and Fear are the important factors that drives someone's extent of being honest.

However, this just doesn't stop here. You need a kind of understanding also which implies that being able to say things doesn't mean the job is done, its important to know/understand how it is being comprehended.
Many times we say something and it is understood very differently.

But in real being honest requires a lot more courage than one could think, it requires courage of the character, your inner self (how strong you are) and above all how much you believe in your self. But to the negative side of this, you don't have many people by your side and can easily be used or manipulated as you all know we live in a strange world.

But in your lifetime make sure you have someone with whom you are truely honest with atleast 1 in your lifetime.


I'm well aware of this. And I want to grow. I want to allow others into my life. But after so many years of hiding my weaknesses, I don't know how one goes about letting others (i.e., aside from my mom, who thankfully know pretty much all of my weaknesses) see who I really am.


Monday, 2 May 2011

lets not ask OTHERs to change for us .....







Many times we find traits in people around us that we do not like. If only those people could change, our life would be much easier, right? We may try various means to get them to change - by giving them a lecture, scolding them, and otherwise resenting their action. Most of the time, you would have noticed that you come out disappointed and the other person does not change one bit.

Why does trying to change people not work?
Each one of us are acting out of our own karma (past impressions) and gunas (qualities) The behaviour that we exhibit are habits that are deeply ingrained over a long period of time. It is very comfortable and natural for people to keep being the way they are. When people are told to change, they resent it, as the ego does not like to be told to change - it is the same as saying that they are not good enough they way they are. Just as you like to be accepted the way you are, so also is the case with others. For people to genuinely change, the thirst for self-improvement needs to spring from within, and this thirst cannot come from outside. People hire life coaches to help improve themselves. From the perspective of the life coach, the single most important thing is the willingness of the client  to change. Unless the client desires it and is willing to work towards it, lasting change does not happen.

Also, many times when we do not like a quality in someone, that person is simply showing something in us that we are not able to accept, because we are too far off the other extreme. Thus our aversion to some quality simply means that we are not centered ourselves, as we favor the opposite of that quality.

Examples of opposite qualities that repel each other:The laid back versus the perfectionistThe thinker versus the doerThe stay at home person versus the party animalThe introvert versus the extrovertThe overly strict versus the overly lenientThe touch me not versus the romantic
When we encounter a person with the opposite quality, it helps if we can be more accepting of the other by becoming more centered at-least when we are around with that person.

Examples:A laid back employee and a perfectionist boss experience frustration with each other. It helps if the employee becomes a little more perfectionist while at work, and the boss becomes a little laid-back.  The same goes with couples as well. For example - If one parent is overly strict with kids, and the other overly lenient, then there is usually a struggle as to which way is the right way to bring up the kids. It helps for both partners to try to become a little more centered.
If you have to ask others to change, it is wise to gently remind at times, and ignore at other times, and make sure we are not being a nag to the other person. The only thing you can do to change people is be the change you want to see in them. Real change in people come about only when we are able to inspire them to change.

Trying to change others is a great waste of energy. It is far better to love them the way they are, just as we like others to love us the way we are. Also the way you look at other people’s traits influences you more than any other single thing. Try silently laughing at the trait of the other person that bothers you, or simply think of that quality as cute - you will be far happier than your attempts to change them to your ways