In english dictionary the word "Honesty" means:
1. the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness.
2.truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness.
3.freedom from deceit or fraud.
I am sure like me, many of us might have heard this saying or might have said it ourselves to others "Be honest with me or I am honest with you" etc.
However, did we ever ask this question that how much honesty one can handle?
How much trust one invests to know that whatever is said/told is true?
How many people in this world are truely honest to SELF and to other's?
Why people are afraid of being honest ?
The answer to these questions are sometimes difficult to find or easier than thought.
Have you ever noticed that when your with a complete stranger that you have met may be on your way on a flight or on a train or may be on net, you tend to share more or become more honest with that person without any fear of repercussions etc because in your mind may be you know that the person will least impact on your life etc and you risk it.At the same time you share your weaknesses also without any fear of acceptance or not.
Another example of the same is when your with your psychologist discussing something very personal with a confidence that he/she will/might help you find your way/answers and you become very honest about your lives etc.
The problem is, it requires a great deal of trust to willfully expose your weakness to others .
Now where does weakness came into the picture
.Well, everyone has weaknesses and to accept those honestly is not only a brave thing but also shows the character.
To pretend that I am without weakness builds a wall around me. Yes, it may protect me from being hurt, but it also keeps out any potential friends. You can't pick and choose, really, what the outcome will be when you build that wall. The funny thing about it is that no one will really believe you anyway, if you pretend to be without weakness.
News flash: we ALL have weakness!
Part of honesty is allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It means giving an answer because that's how you
feel, instead of answering how you think the person asking the question might want you to answer. Honesty means that you'll be wrong sometimes. Honesty means that you are willing to accept the consequences of your actions. Honesty means failing. P
erhaps the most difficult: honesty means coming to terms with yourself as you are, not as you wish you were, or as you wish others would see you. You can't make any improvements in your life if you don't know where your starting point is.
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Trust is on the people when you fall, will be there to catch you.. |
Conclusion is that Trust/confidence,Vulnerable and Fear are the important factors that drives someone's extent of being honest.
However, this just doesn't stop here. You need a kind of understanding also which implies that being able to say things doesn't mean the job is done, its important to know/understand how it is being comprehended.
Many times we say something and it is understood very differently.
But in real being honest requires a lot more courage than one could think, it requires courage of the character, your inner self (how strong you are) and above all how much you believe in your self. But to the negative side of this, you don't have many people by your side and can easily be used or manipulated as you all know we live in a strange world.
But in your lifetime make sure you have someone with whom you are truely honest with atleast 1 in your lifetime.
I'm well aware of this. And I want to grow. I want to allow others into my life. But after so many years of hiding my weaknesses, I don't know how one goes about letting others (i.e., aside from my mom, who thankfully know pretty much all of my weaknesses) see who I
really am.